No Time to Be Human

In what seemed like only a few short moments, last Thursday, I lost a battle that I had waged against this year's bug. Yes, I actually became sick! For the first time in four years--to the day--I got sick. So what? Well, my "scheduled" life went into a mild tailspin.

By eight o'clock Thursday evening, I was literally too sick to type. Looking at the computer screen made my head feel as if there was a hot air balloon getting ready for takeoff inside (no jokes about my head being filled with hot air). I could not breathe, my vision blurred, and then I gave in. A little microscopic entity (well, in my defense there were probably millions of them) brought me down. Getting sick is one of the inconveniences of being human.

As a result, I missed my first discussion board post for one of my classes since beginning at Regent. The next day, I called in to work sick and dismissed any hope of doing anything more productive then sniffling, coughing, and dripping on my couch in front of the television. Most of the time, I was not even sure what I was watching. Over the weekend, I fell more behind on my school work and my reading, and even now that I write this post, I have more things to do. I was perturbed that my body chose this week to be sick. Ugh, the nerve! I simply don't have time to be human!

On the other hand, after as much whining as my wife could stand, and after as much sympathy as I could soak up, I began to pray--not for deliverance from my illness, but for the purpose. What is the purpose of getting sick? After all, God could have created the world without the flu bug, right?

Without inciting a heated doctrinal debate, I began to think of what I will admit is a shabbily supported theory...

Illness, frustration, anger, loss, sadness, and other negative emotions and experiences build our capacity to recognize, conceptualize, and realize everything positive in life that God has to offer. For instance, by Sunday afternoon, I felt much better--not well--but much better. In that perception of how I felt, I found energy. I found energy to do four loads of laundry, clean the toilet, Lysol the entire apartment, dust, and vacuum. Yet, in the preceding days, weeks, and months prior to my sickly experience, I did not have the energy or motivation to do any of those things.

To the extreme that we, as human beings can feel negative emotions, we can also feel positive emotions to the opposite position on the negative-positive feeling continuum. I wonder if this has any validity whatsoever? If it does, I have a great life ahead...

Years ago, before I accepted Jesus in to my life, life seemed very, very hard. I was always worrying, constantly fighting depression, routinely had strife, and the there was little joy in day to day living. However, since being reborn, everything has changed. I believe I am experiencing the feelings opposite of those I had prior. Joy, happiness, and a feeling of safety and acceptance are now a part of my daily life.

Had I not gotten saved, I wonder how far along the continuum I would have slid in the opposite direction? I suppose that if my capacity under God to feel the joy of the Lord's presence in my life is even one-tenth the capacity I had for negative, Godless living, then I am in for a wonderful, blessed journey.

So, the lesson learned is that in this temporal life, illnesses, sadness, and everything negative are not just temporary inconveniences; they also serve a good purpose. Whether or not you buy into my pet theory of building capacity or not is not my consideration. What I consider most is the joy of being a child of God and looking forward to all that my future holds... the joy and the pain, because each serves its purpose and in the end can be used to glorify God.

Pray with me for each other - Psalm 86